Dealing With Inadequacy : “Relationships”

Many of us feel like we’re not worth it. Like we’re not enough and that’s honestly a problem.

For women (I can’t speak from a guys perspective sorry), some of us seek the approval we need from guys who honestly don’t deserve us. We’ll give an arm, a leg and even a kidney for them but to them we’re disposable and inter-changeable. It kinda makes sense why girls who are in relationships are so protective over their boyfriends/partners/lovers etc.

There are girls who truly give no fucks whatsoever and if your man is what she wants, come hell or high water she will have him. Yeah. It’s going to hurt you like a bitch but do you really want to be with someone who was so easily swayed by someone else?

I’ve learnt the hard way that seeking approval and validation from guys, about who I am, isn’t going to make me happy. At least not in the long run – for short term purposes then hell yeah but when he turns his attention from you. Stops calling. Stops texting or replying to messages (but you know he reads it.. THANK YOU WHATS APP FOR THE BLUE TICKS).

You drive yourself crazy. You blame yourself and your reflex is to ask him what you’ve done wrong. Why he’s mad at you.

You need to take a step back and realize that you aren’t the problem. He is.

You’ll go through stages of anger, denial, you’ll cry, you’ll be over him and then you’ll stare at his profile in the hopes that he’ll message but he’ll never message or maybe he will. Maybe he’ll give you excuses and tell you he loves you and in that same breath.. He’ll ask you for pics.. of a sexual nature. To keep him happy, maybe you’ll send him pics but deep down you’ll know it’s wrong.

You’ll know he’s just using you for a free quick fix and you’ll bleed inside.

Just know. It’s okay. You aren’t the only one crying alone in your room at night over some silly boy. Trust me. I’ve cried so much over the years that I now wonder if i’ll ever find my prince charming. If when I meet him, would I even deserve him?

Unhealthy “relationships” can lead to feeling even more inferior or more inadequate and sometimes, they can even drive you absolutely insane until you’re that person checking his social media to see if he replies ( guilty as charged. I did it ONCE okay.)

Yes. The right man for you won’t make you feel like you’re only good for his sexual pleasure. He’ll make you feel like you’re his world, his partner and his friend.

Don’t feel inadequate. Don’t feel like you’re alone.

I promise you. You’re not alone.

I am here.

I’m here and all I’m doing is trying to set myself free from the things that cloud my mind and impair my judgement.  Free from feeling like I’m worthless until eventually, all I’ll feel is that I can touch the sky and perhaps even beyond it. Simply because my spirit will be free.

I know I haven’t dealt with all of my issues in terms of feeling inadequate but maybe one I will.

All I know is that I hope to share this journey with you and maybe we can help each other.


Be happy, Be Healthy, Be Free







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